A Father’s Advice to a Marrying Son

Today my son is getting married. As I look back to my own wedding day, I am drawn to the fact that it would have been so helpful to have some fatherly advice — to prepare me for the days ahead. These are just simple words from my heart to the son I love. 

October 29

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)


My son, you are about to make a commitment that will last for the rest of your life. But this is a wonderful decision – and one that will bring the greatest of joys to your days. As the Good Book says: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing – and obtains favor from the LORD.” (Prov. 18:22)

This is because your wife is a blessing from God. She is an expression of God’s personal favor towards you. She is God’s provision for your life. She will be your constant companion. She will be able to help you see things that you cannot see by yourself. She will lift you up when you are down. She will bring her nurturing to everything that needs to grow. She will be a voice of hope when things might seem hopeless. She will be your closest and best friend – the one who knows you as you really are… and loves you still the same. She will be the one who assures you that you will never be alone (see Gen. 2:18!)

But I want you to know that these things do not happen automatically. You must create an environment for those things to happen. She is entirely capable of being everything you need – but it will be up to you to make them “come alive” in her.

You do this by one very simple thing… You love her.

But although this is simple… it is not easy. In fact, it will require everything in you. You will have to give yourself to the cause. You will have to give up your life for hers. You will have to let go of everything you think you need (and expect) to meet her needs – to provide for what her heart desires.

As husbands, our model is Christ. He did not just speak about love, or offer words of affection – He gave everything for the object of His love. He did not demand to be obeyed and served – He came to obey His Father and to serve us.

We honor God best when we love our wives most. When we empty ourselves of our own wants and desires and live to treasure her… that is when we discover just how precious a treasure she really is.

And that is when the treasure we seek comes from within her.

A wife that is truly loved (and knows that she is loved) becomes a wellspring of everything that we need, as husbands. You will not discover this wellspring by demanding… or ordering… or “laying down the law” – you will only find it when you live to serve her. Nurture her trust, through your enduring love for her, and she will become all the woman God made her to be. She was made to give of herself to you – your love will break down every barrier to trust… and open up her heart and soul to be everything you need for her to be.

My son, I am proud of you. Today, you are beginning a marvelous adventure. You are leaving behind childish things and stepping into the fullness of what it means to be a man. Live your life loving those around you and you will find that your days are well-spent, your joys will overwhelm your sorrows, and (at the end of your days) you will look back and realize just how blessed your life really was!

About theheartseeker

I have spent years studying the Scriptures and seeking for God's answer to the question: What IS true Christianity? Let me share some answers with you...
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